4 Tips For Making Lasting Connections
I’ve recently learned of Larry Benet and reading through his site. He has a lot of interesting tips and information. Here’s one that I enjoyed:
When meeting busy people, you have only seconds to make a lasting impression that gets them wanting to keep in contact with you. Here are four tips I use every day to connect with people in a way that’s memorable (and profitable).
Tip #1 - Do Your Research Before You Meet Them
Use whatever resources you have (the internet or other contacts you have) to learn about the person you want to connect with. Get valuable information about what’s important to them, what they have done, what they are working on so that you know what to talk about to build rapport. If you can’t get that kind of information about the person, at least research industry trends so you can have an intelligent conversation with them that builds credibility.
Tip #2 - Listen Actively (And Resist The Urge To Correct Them)
When you’re listening to a new person tell you about themselves, resist the urge to interrupt, correct, criticize or argue points with them. Just listen. That alone will make you more memorable than 99% of the people they meet who are just trying to impress them with how smart they are. Listen actively, and watch them as they become more comfortable around you.
Tip #3 - Ask The Right Questions
Build even more rapport and open up doors by asking them questions like “What’s the most important project you’ve got going on right now?” and “What are your biggest resource needs at the present moment?” Then ask “Is there any way, shape, or form I can be a resource to you or facilitate bringing business to you?” Focus on how you can serve them, not on what you want from them. Helping solve their problems is the ultimate networking activity.
Tip #4 - Be Authentic
When you get an answer to the above questions, be sure you mean it when you say you’re willing to help. A dropped commitment will kill your chance to network with the person in the future, and create a bad reference that will circulate farther than you’d like. Say what you mean, and follow up on it.
Use these tips today to become a better connector and grow your business quickly.
About Larry Benet:
Larry Benet is known as “The Connector” and “The Connector to Billionaires and Millionaires“. Larry provides resources that can take your business to the next level. He is the past Chairman of theTsunami Disaster Relief Project where he brought top business leaders together to raise money for the victims of the Tsunami.
He is currently the President of the Speakers and Authors Networking Group, which is made up of some of the most prominent and influential speakers and authors in the world.He is considered a master relationship builder, one of the countries most Outside the Box business strategists, a great connector of people, and has been referred to as “America’s Connection Expert”.
He has shared the platform or interviewed people like Mark Victor Hansen, author of the best seller “Chicken Soup for the Soul” series, Ken Blanchard of the One Minute Manager, Ken Kragen creator of We Are The World, motivational speaker Les Brown, Marketing Genius Jay Abraham, and Harvey Mackay author of Swim with the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive.
You can read more about Larry Benet at http://www.larrybenet.com
8 Gold Medals
Like millions of others around the world in the last week or more, I’ve managed to get caught up in some of the competition of the Summer Olympics.
And even more so, with watching Michael Phelps and Dara Torres go stunningly for the “Gold” in their respective races.
And have similar yet different outcomes
Then just the other morning I saw during NBC Olympics’ coverage that Liu Xiang, China’s Gold medal hopeful, suffered an injury to his Achilles’ tendon. Unfortunately, he was unable to even “get out of the blocks”. About Liu, Jeré Longman, NY Times, wrote, “He/Liu had been his country’s hope to be the signature triumph of the Olympics.”
Hopes dashed in an instant
For those that didn’t see their races, of particular note was Michael’s 100-meter butterfly, his next-last-to-race, where he won by 0.01! While Dara’s last race, the 400-meter medley, ended with a “loss” of 0.01. Stunningly, Michael took the “Gold” medal; Dara won the “Silver” with the exact time clock reading.
So what’s all this got to do with you? With you “starting and running” or “stopping and rethinking” a virtual assistant business, you say?
Actually, plenty!
For starters, it has to do with having a goal, or many
A plan, if you will.
Goals that show what you want to accomplish during a specified amount of time, and where you want to be six months, a year from now; five years, or even ten. You choose the motivation and you choose the timeline.
Look at Michael’s history
Michael didn’t just get up one day and say, “Tomorrow I’m going to win 8 gold medals.” Although he began swimming when he was 7, it wasn’t until he was 15 that he first entered the Olympics (in 2000).
So it’s taken Michael eight years to amass the eight gold medals in one Olympics.
However, in several interviews, he did indicate that he had set out with a list of things he wanted to do on his way to any of the Olympics he entered (2000, 2004, 2008). And as each milestone was realized, they were crossed off.
Now, he has to start a new list.
What about you?
What will your list include? How will your timeline look?
What about perseverance?
It’s important to remember that while not the easiest thing to take, it’s okay if somewhere along the line you “fail”; where you are not able to reach the “brass ring” according to how you expect to get it.
In one of Dara’s interviews, she commented that she could not believe she had “lost” by the exact time that Milorad Cavic, swimming for Serbia, lost to Phelps. In fact, Dara indicated she thought how bad it was for Cavic to come so close to winning and then losing. She went on to suggest that perhaps she had “jinxed” her own shot at a win by even entertaining Cavic’s loss.
As difficult or as disappointing as it may seem, in reality you (Dara or Cavic) did not fail at all but rather you just found it necessary to adjust your path a bit. I know it’s probably not easy for any of us to hear that when all our hopes are quashed in what seems almost like an instant.
For Dara and Cavic, it really was “an instant” a “0.01 of a second!” instant.
But what you manage to learn in the process effectively becomes “gold” itself
For instance, consider something like this. If you had not been laid off from a job that you really did not like, or if you had not decided to have and stay home with baby number one, would you have taken steps to start your virtual assistant business?
For all practical purposes, you probably would not have had the opportunity to set out to find a new way to earn money, or to prove anything.
Now, as tough as it may seem, it’s important to keep in mind that “failure’ is really just a state of mind.
And that even the great ones “fail” – if that’s what you want to call it – at some time or other.
Just get yourself back up on that horse, on the bike, or in the race car.
Back to the computer or the drawing board, if you will!
Like Michael, start making a new list, new dreams.
You’ll be better for any experience, and next time you’ll get the gold.
Even the Great Make Mistakes…
There’s an article in our book, 25 Ways To Revolutionize Your Virtual Assistant Business, called “Like Water Off a Duck’s Backside”. In theory, it’s all about how we need to take things that happen, learn from them, and let them go. Too often, we dwell on our mistakes. They trip us up. They make us doubt our abilities as a business owner.
John Powell, a composer who had worked on such films as Borne Identity, Much Ado About Nothing, and X-Men, states “The only real mistake is the one from what we learn nothing.”
We are going to make mistakes in life. It’s inevitable. Mel Brooks said it best when he said, “As long as the world is turning and spinning, we’re gonna be dizzy and we’re gonna make mistakes.”
Face it.
Doesn’t make those mistakes any easier to bear, does it?
However, what some of fail to realize is that everyone, even the greatest make mistakes.
Let me introduce you to Jim Marshall.
Jim Marshall is a football player who left Ohio State University before his senior year to play in the Canadian Football league. In 1960 he was the 4th round draft pick of the Cleveland Browns and the next year went to the Minnesota Vikings where he continued to play until 1979. He hold the record for consecutive starts with 270 and played in 282 consecutive games.
He was a member of the Pro Bowl team in 1968 and 1969 and recovered 29 fumbles, a record in the NFL. He’s has 127 career quarterback sacks, second most in Viking History.
However, despite the greats that Marshall had accomplished, he’s very well known for one of the most embarrassing moments in professional sports history.
On October 25, 1964, four years into his NFL career, Marshall recovered a fumble and ran 66 yards into the endzone. He threw the ball away in celebration of a touchdown.
While this may seem like something we would expect from Marshall, the problem lies within the fact that he ran the ball 66 yards into his OWN endzone, and when he threw the ball, it was out of bounds resulting in a safety for the 49ers.
And this mistake was made by “the NFL’s Greatest Iron Man.”
Need some more examples?
In 1985 the Coca Cola company released New Coke after it beat Old Coke out in taste tests. What they failed to realize is the legacy that surrounded the brand that took over a century to build. Resistance followed with many feeling as if Coca Cola was “turning their backs on their [customers] drinking preferences, their childhood, and even their way of life.”
In 1993, Pepsi introduced Crystal Pepsi, a clear version of Pepsi. Yes, there was an initial increase in sales, but sales fell misreably shortly there after. Consumers didn’t understand why they needed a clear version of the original.
My point is this.
Even the great make mistakes.
They simply learn from them and move on. So if you’re hung up right now on a mistake that you made, figure out how to prevent it from happeneing again, and let it go….just like water on a duck’s backside.
Until next time…
Heather
Do You Read?
I’m a sucker for a good book. To be honest, I’m not picky. Give me a good business book, mystery, thriller, romance novel, self-help book, etc. and I am content and good to go. In fact, just this morning, I received an email from SitePoint telling me that for every book I purchased, I could get a pdf download for free. I walked away $80 later with 2 hard copy books and 2 pdf copies and a desire to delve into each as deeply as I can for my own personal benefit and for the betterment of my business.
This got me thinking:
What have you been reading lately?
When was the last time you read a book?
Are you a wide reader?
In a gathering, you can tell who the wide readers are. Wide readers think and speak well. They win the admiration, respect, and good opinion of others.
Reading expands the mind. In fact, many people consider it as one of the satisfying pleasures of humans, for it involves physical as well as mental activities.
Reading is primarily a mental activity. After all, you read with your mind and use your imagination to paint the setting of the detective thriller you are reading. You use your mind to imagine the pain that the main character experiences as the story unfolds. You bring into play the different arguments and ideas brought up by the author in the self-help book you are holding. When reading a business book you try to see how each idea could possibly play out in your business life.
When you read, you develop a wide vocabulary. A skillful reader has a wide recognition vocabulary. You may not know exactly what every word means, but you will have a good general idea of the meaning of the sentence.
Reading makes you alert and curious about new words. Other readers develop the dictionary habit. Every time they come across a strange word, they try to figure out what it can possibly mean by the context. If they cannot do this, they refer to the dictionary.
Reading develops intellectual curiosity by exposing you to a variety of materials. You learn to read by reading books of increasing difficulty and variety. As in other forms of activity, you learn by actually doing.
Reading trains you to have an active and open mind. Merely grasping the writer’s idea is not enough. You must make a positive response to what you read. Be an active, not a passive, reader. Develop the habit of drawing your own conclusions, the habit of active thinking, of agreeing or disagreeing with the author. Keep your mind open, understand and weigh the ideas that you read. A practical part of active reading is the drawing of conclusions.
Pack Rat in Hiding
Lately, I seem to have a huge fixation on email.
Perhaps it’s because not so long ago I had a bit of Excedrin headache issues with mine. The most recent happened when Microsoft released an update. Between my Outlook 2003 and my anti-virus software, I ended up unable to send or receive email using Outlook 2003 for over a week.
It turns out my anti-virus software did not recognize the MS update and caused the “send/receive” feature to stall out. (In fairness to Microsoft, it took a while to resolve the issue because we were unable to reach each other; on several occasions they called me and I was not available. I emailed them and they were unavailable, etc.)
Numerous telephone calls, email conversations and remote hook-ups with Microsoft and my anti-virus provider and many days later eventually resulted in a positive outcome.
And once again I was finally good to go.
But not before I managed to rack up a bit of distress at my inability to send and receive email in a timely manner. Of course, I did have Outlook, and I added Thunderbird. But they just weren’t the same!
That said, now I’m faced with another email issue.
This time, though, it’s because I seem to “somehow” have got on everybody’s list. “Somehow,” of course, really means at my own doing over a course of months it appears I have managed to sign up to receive email ezines/newsletters from “everyone in the whole wide (web) world.”
And more and more I get email, ezines/newsletters and offers, etc., than I have time for. Much of my email is now coming addressed to “undisclosed recipient” (who, for Pete’s sake, is “undisclosed recipient”), advising me I’ve won the lottery in the UK, or the British Prime Minister has a bunch of sterling for me; or I can enter into a very lucrative Hong Kong business proposal, or some woman’s deceased family member deposited a huge sum of money in a foreign bank for me, and they’re waiting to get my name, address, and other identifying information.
And that’s a whole other story.
This too much email dilemma can possibly be resolved in a number of different ways; the most obvious and least disruptive for me would be, when traveling about the Web, to just make it a practice to not sign up for ezines/newsletters or other email notifications. Unfortunately, though, this measure could result in the loss of really great ideas and tips, and networking that could be of benefit at the time you’re at the site or much later down the road.
Another solution might be to set aside time in each day…or at least weekly–to sort through your email to read what is going on in your niche market or an area where you’d like to venture.
It’s not hard to unsubscribe from a list. Well, at least it shouldn’t be, if the form of email that comes to you provides you with a means to unsubscribe. (I have seen instances, though, where it was not possible to unsubscribe.)
Short of unsubscribing, another solution would be to just hit “delete” when the notion strikes.
Patience is a Virtue
As a business owner many of us struggle with the patience required to be a successful business owner …
- We open our virtual doors and wonder where the clients are!
- We send out marketing letters and wonder why the phone hasn’t started ringing
- We ask for help and wonder why we haven’t received the work back immediately
- We try a new marketing approach and wonder why it hasn’t yielded any results
- We attend a networking event and wonder why no one requests our services immediately upon hearing our reply
It is hard some days to have the patience that is needed to let our efforts begin to work. It is like my good friend says “We plant the seeds and expect a flower overnight”!! I thought that maybe some of you could benefit from how patience has developed in my business and some of the lessons that I have learned along the way!!
When I opened my virtual doors I had a full client load within a month … at the time I was told that this is very unusual for a virtual assistant business!! Well as we all experience in business, I lost one of my clients and this client was a very large client on a 75 hour retainer per month. I lost the client not through any fault of my own, but because he sold his business and the new owner wanted someone on site full-time to answer the phones and provide a physical presence. So there I was left with the task of going and getting new clients … it took hard work, but now I have the best clients in the world and absolutely love the clients I do have … the advantage too is that I now have several smaller clients so that if one should happen to leave i won’t feel the huge crunch. I spoke with some other virtual assistants as I was building my business and learned that it is not unusual to take upwards of 3 years to obtain a solid client base!!
Here is the biggest thing I learned about marketing letters …. they need follow up. The latest client I just signed was from a marketing letter that I had sent out when I first started my business 2.5 years ago. That client told me that originally they had thrown my letter in the garbage, but when I telephoned to follow up and because I was so nice about it on the phone (I told them I understood they weren’t in a position to work with me at that time, but when (notice I didn’t use if) they grew, which I was confident they would, to remember me and contact me at that time. Because of this conversation they took my letter from the garbage and put it in a file. Their business did in fact grow because they were about to hire someone to help them on a part-time basis and then remembered me and all the advantages of working with a Virtual Assistant I had told them about!! There is no way I could have imagined that it would take 2.5 years for that marketing campaign to pay for itself.
The best way to market a Virtual Assistant business is through word of mouth and referrals. The thing to remember is that it can take time to establish a relationship with a person to the point they can know, like and trust you enough to tell others about you. I have been networking for over two years and the really good referrals are just now starting to come!! Don’t give up on your efforts … stick it out and I am sure you will reap the benefits.
I hope that some of these lessons I have learned along the way and some of my thoughts on why patience is important can offer some of you struggling in the beginning stages of your business to see it through. Having your own business can bring you the biggest satisfactions and rewards!!
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